Today I found myself the subject of an Internet meme. Not for the first time.The Internet has created memes for many a celebrity including Leonardo DiCaprio Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Lawrence which can be lighthearted and so amusing that even the celebrity subject approves.
But occasionally the Internet crosses a line in its attempt to find wit by Photoshopping some celebrity image. Such was the case on Monday when Prison Break star Wentworth Miller found himself the subject of one such meme which seemed to be more straight up body shaming than good spirited goofing. Courageously the actor took to his Facebook account on Monday to pen a frank response to the insensitive meme. Today I found myself the subject of an Internet meme. Not for the first time.This one however stands oufrom the rest. In 2010 semi retired from acting I was keeping a low profile for a number of reasons.First and foremost I was suicidal. This is a subject I have since written about spoken about shared about.
But at the time I suffered in silence. As so many do. The extent of my struggle known to very very few.Ashamed and in pain I considered myself damaged goods. And the voices in my head urged me down the path to self destruction. Not for the first time .I have struggled with depression since childhood. Its a battle thats cost me time opportunities relationships and a thousand sleepless nights.In 2010 at the lowest point in my adult life I was looking everywhere for relief comfort distraction. And I turned to food. It could have been anything. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. But eating became the one thing I could look forward to. Count on to get me through. There were stretches when the highlight of my week was a favorite meal and a new episode of TOP CHEF. Sometimes that was enough. Had to be.
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