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Reading The Wheel of Time: Rand al’Thor, The Invisible Battle, And Me

 Perhaps one of my favorite aspects of reading The Wheel of Time is how often I find myself in characters when I am not expecting to. 





I am accustomed to seeing my weird self reflected in robots and fairies aliens and outcast knights  because these categories are often used as analogies for othered and marginalized people and I belong to a few of those groups. When it comes to Robert Jordans work however  and I realize that I am generalizing here  his characters feel a bit more literary than genre to me  despite their setting and the magical things that they can do. As a result I do not look for the tropes the way I might in other fantasy works and moments of connection sneak up on me in different ways.A few weeks ago while reading Chapter 49 of Lord of Chaos a specific moment for Rand struck me  and it really changed how I felt about an entire aspect of his journey.

Lews Therin has been steadily solidifying as a presence in Rands mind  so much so that he has tried to argue a few times about whose body it is, and has even tried several times to seize saidin. Rand has had to devote a significant amount of energy to restraining himself from reaching for it lest Lews Therin take control. Then, when Min reports to Rand that there are now thirteen Aes Sedai in Caemlyn Lews Therin fully panics.This is an invisible battle for Rand no one knows that Lews Therin is his head nevermind that he might possibly be able to affect or control Rands actions. When Rand later collapses from the effort of fighting Lews Therin for so long and has to be carried to bed nobody knows what has really happened to him.

Taint madness is nOt really analogous to real world mental health issues. The symptoms anger violence  destruction and an inability to recognize reality are associated with certain presentations of psychosis but there is not enough detail in the description of what happened to Lews Therin and the Hundred Companions to elevate their insanity past the general stereotype of how popular culture depicts most types of mental disorders and neurodivergent conditions. But in Rands experiences we have much more specificity, and it is here that many people with mental illness or disabilities can actually find a lot of things that they may relate to.

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